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Eternal-Self

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This morning I sat on the ledge of your bed, watching you sleep as the sun came up. As I stared down at you, my beautiful baby boy, I knew when you’d awake you would quickly realize the day ahead was going to be a challenge. You would see the day through the eyes of a wallflower, silently aching as you watched the rest of the world joyously celebrate. I gingerly placed my hand on the side of your face. Softly I stroked your cheek with the back of my fingertips when the creases of your eye-lids parted open, revealing your deep chestnut eyes. You sucked in a deep breath, breathing me in without knowing it, and laid there motionless for several moments. I watched from a close distance as you groggily began your morning. I whispered ‘I love you’ into your ear as you finished putting on my favorite dress shirt, one that I had bought you many years ago. You continued your morning in silence. A bleak expression written across your face. I knew how much you were missing me, especially on this day, Mother’s Day. I wish you could understand that it is not only you that is missing me, but it is I that so desperately misses you. Throughout the day I stayed by your side. Laughing with you as you managed to find humor in the dimness of the day; You have these moments of purity about you, brilliant flashing moments in which you briefly let down your walls and allow yourself to fully experience the moment, without regression. I love that about you. And when you would get lost in thought, staring straight ahead, I smiled, because I saw myself in your eyes, through your eyes. What you don’t know is how powerful my eternal-self is. I am able to protect you in ways I never could before, and I know you better than I ever imagined was possible. Dear boy, I can guide you through this life if you let me. My love, I am your Guardian Angel now and forever. I am with you, I love you, and I am always here for you. 

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